The Widow's MIght

To find this Sunday's readings (yesterdays) follow this link: http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/111112.cfm

My priest Fr. John was back in town so he gave us a good homily yesterday and I would've posted it but I spent the day with my parents and didn't have time when I made it home.

 What I got out of this weeks Homily
We need to become like the widow in the gospel, willing to give her last two pennies in order that God might hear her. There are two things we need to do in order to become like her.
1) Life will give us opportunities to give of ourselves and sometimes the gift of ourselves is more than the gift of our money
2)We need to trust more in God that He will provide for us no matter what- being free of fear is what true faith is, fear is often cited in the gospel as the opposite of faith

Jesus compares the widow to two groups of people: scribes and the rich who are tithing as well

Scribes and rich people are completely external (think a Christmas present without anything inside) whereas the widow gave from her heart, from her need.

Our challenge in becoming like the widow is that sometimes we substitute pious gestures for true conversion, or if we have the true conversion we keep it locked inside. We have to fight both these temptations!

Often in scripture we see that it is through the simple God's works are done. Both the gospel today and the OT reading show widows, women who stretched themselves in order to show the faith they had in God. We need to learn to stretch ourselves as well.

What oh, what do you say?

When your heart wants one thing and your mind tells you it's a really bad idea?
When you want romance and someone offers you comfort instead?
When you want something that can grow into love and all you get is an offer to make out?
When you really want to take them up but you know that it violates everything you believe in?

These choices are hard, but that's why you have morals... in order to know what to do when every choice seems like the right thing to do, but you know they aren't. I am worth more than comfort. I am worth a great romance. I am worth dying for and I will treat myself as such for once in my life. I will have the courage to say that I am not going to settle for less than what I know and want, and the truth is that in spite of my biological clock, in spite of my intuition and my longing for comfort, at the end of the day I want love. I want a relationship that will end with me coming home to be with the same man day after day, year after year until we are in heaven standing before the Lord. I want someone to say that I am worth it, because for the first time in my life I know I am and I will not settle for less!

Okay So I've finally decided what I want this blog for

At first I was just thinking it would be an online journal, however that didn't work out... mostly due to my extreme lack of motivation. I just don't see what value my thoughts of my life would be to anyone. However, I've finally come to an idea that I think might work :-D

I am going to be posting weekly (sometimes more than that) blogs recapping the Sunday homilies that I hear and what it's inspired me to do in the week following.

So here we go:

Today's readings can be found here: http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/110412.cfm

This is what I got out of the homily this week:

Christianity is God searching for humanity. This makes it different from every other religion created by mankind in search of God (think of the Native Americans and Egyptians especially, they were searching for something they didn't know.)
Jesus will lead us to His Father without delay.

Father K. gave an interesting anecdote about a soldier during the civil war to illustrate this.
    He was the only man in his family, his older brother had just died and he went to the president in order to ask to be excused from his tour of duty so he could cultivate the field for his mother and sisters. He gets tot he White House and the security detail turns him away without a second thought so he goes and sits down on a bench nearby, really downhearted. A young boy comes over and asks him what's wrong and he explains about his responsibilities and what he had come to Washington to accomplish. The boy takes him by the hand and leads him past the security personnel straight into the oval office.
    Lincoln looks up and says, "What can I do for you, Tad?" 
    "I think you need to hear what this young man has to say," is his response.
    Lincoln inclines his head and listens as the soldier tells his story again. Lincoln immediately gave him approval to go home.

Fr. K. then goes on to tell us that we need to pray that we might learn to love ourselves in order to be able to love each other and God more.


And finally, a prayer I wrote just before receiving the Eucharist:

Lord, help me know Your love for me
that I may love myself as You do.
What You love, may I love.
What You hate, namely my sins,
allow me to hate as well,
that I may never offend you again. Amen.

I promise...

I'm back and will keep this up more... It's only been six or seven months since my last post.

The reason I haven't been keeping up with this is because I have only (until recently) had intermittent internet... i.e. when I could afford it I had it.

So here's what I've been up to in short: I moved outta my parents house (Praise God!), have been losing weight, have stopped biting my nails, have cross-stitched five or so projects, had a job but quit it, got a new job, moved back in with my parents (stupid bronchitis!), finished about three more cross-stitch projects, attended my brother's wedding (YAY!), made caramel cinnamon rolls from scratch for mom's birthday, went to confession (YAY!!!!!), realized I had gained weight, started discerning, got asked out for a long-distance relationship the same day, moved back out to the country (THANK YOU LORD!!!!), thought and prayed about long-distance relationship- decided against it, and that brings us up to date.

I'll post again later this week and maybe have something meaningful to say. God bless!

New Year's Resolution: Project Lose Weight

    So today I started my New Year's Resolution: Project Lose Weight (or NYRPLW or just PLW), the first step in my journey to becoming a healthier person was for me to control my own base desires, and in order to do that a schedule must be established. I have started waking up at (wait to be shocked, for a person who sleeps in until 10 typically) 5:30 AM.
    I did this for two reasons (in addition to reconditioning my body and mind): 1. It's flippin hot in Sometown, FL in the summer time and the only time you can reasonably exercise without a chance of getting heat stroke (unless you have a pricey air-conditioned gym membership) is before the sun rises and 2. I want to be a farmer someday and they tend to get up before the sun.
    I figure that's doing good for the first week, I'm waking up when I am most likely to be able to get the results I want/need to in order to be healthy. Next week I will start walking, gradually increasing my time until I'm walking an hour a day, and eventually I will push it to going further in that hour than I can at first, and I'm really hoping I can keep up with this. Pray for me, I'm praying for you all!

Mary's Call

    I've been thinking a lot about Mary lately. Mary, the Mother of God, that is, not just a random person named Mary. The feast of the Immaculate Conception was last Thursday, and well, Christmas is coming up, so she's been popping up a lot in my prayer life. For those of you who don't know, the feast of the Immaculate Conception is the day that we celebrate God's greatness in keeping Mary free from the stain of original sin in order that she be pure enough to bear God's son, Jesus. I won't get into a deep theological discussion on how that is possible or what not, but it is a big deal and you should look into it :-D.
    So, when I was in Connecticut this past year I met some amazing people. People who had lived lives fraught with desperate circumstances, dreams that didn't come true, and a true and constant faith that saw them through. I worked at St. Joseph's Residence in Enfield, CT for the summer and if you ever have a chance you should meet some of the people who live there. I highly recommend volunteering or working or just visiting one of the elderly residents there. Now, it's not like a typical nursing home, it's not depressing and you can feel the love between staff, residents, and any visitors who come.
    When I was there I received an amazing little prayer book from one of the residents, and it has helped my prayer life immensely. It's called "Mary's Call: Mary, teach me to pray." There's different reflections and devotions, some of which I'd prayed before, and others that I hadn't. One of the reflections shocked me to my core as I thought of the upcoming Christmas season. [We're still in Advent, silly! Of course it's not Christmas yet, that doesn't happen until Dec. 25th and it goes all the way to Epiphany!] How often do we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of trying to get everything done for Christmas do we end up forgetting what it's really all about?
    Anyway, here to remind us all about what Christmas is really about is the reflection that so touched me, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and that it helps you think a bit more about your preparations for Christmas.

  Mary's Christmas Dream

I had a dream, Joseph. 

I don't understand it, not really, 

but I think it was about a birthday celebration for our Son. 

I think that was what it was all about. 

The people had been preparing for it for about six weeks. 

They had decorated the house and bought new clothes. 

They'd gone shopping many times and bought elaborate gifts. 

It was peculiar, though, because the presents weren't for our Son. 

They wrapped them in beautiful paper 

and tired them with lovely bows 

and stacked them under a tree. 

Yes, a tree, Joseph, right in their house. 

They'd decorated the tree also. 

The branches were full of glowing balls and sparkling ornaments. 

There was a figure on top of the tree. 

It looked like an angel might look. 

Oh, it was beautiful. Everyone was laughing and happy. 

They were all excited about the gifts. 

They gave the gifts to each other, Joseph, not to our Son.
I don't think they even knew Him. 

They never mentioned His name.

Doesn't it seem odd for people to go to all that trouble

 to celebrate someone's birthday

 if they don't know Him. 

I had the strangest feeling that 

if our Son had gone to this celebration

 He would have been intruding.

 Everything was so beautiful, Joseph,

 and everyone so gay,

 but it made me want to cry.

 How sad for Jesus- 

not to be wanted at his own birthday party. 

I'm glad it was only a dream. 

How terrible, Joseph, if it had been real.

Mary conceived without original sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!

Unlikely Stories

   We all get those sappy e-mails, you know the ones. The ones that tell stories of unbelievable goodness and miracles that never really happened. I got one in my inbox today and even though I knew the ending, it still brought a tear to my eye. I can't help but stop and wonder, "What if they were true?" What if people were decent to each other? What if we all just stopped and prayed and something got better for the person we prayed for? We if we took that step into faith and believed that things could be better just by how we treated one person?
   This world would be improved and maybe I'm just being optimistic. Maybe I'm just wishfully thinking, but I want to take that step I want to know what if I were to do one thing? My life isn't easy, my family is facing bankruptcy, I don't have a job, we can barely afford to feed ourselves, we never make all of our bills, and yet I want to do something courageous, something extraordinary for someone I don't know. I am blessed in that I have a home, even if it's drafty and infested with mold and spiders and a myriad of other creatures. I have a family who love and support me. I am luckier than a great many people out there. Anyway, since I can't afford presents this year I'm offering novenas on behalf of my friends and family.
   
   If you, whoever you may be, have anything you want me to pray for, I will, just reply and I will pray for whatever you ask me to pray for. Nine days of intercession is all I can offer, but maybe, just maybe that'll be enough.

Oh and that story that I read that made me offer this? Here it is:

The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn't been anywhere in

Years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He didn't hate Christmas,

 Just couldn't find a reason to celebrate. He was sitting there looking at the snow that

Had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door

Opened and a homeless man stepped through.

Instead of throwing the man out, Old George as he was known by his customers,

Told the man to come and sit by the heater and warm up. "Thank you, but I don't mean to intrude," said the stranger.

"I see you're busy, I'll just go." "Not without something hot in your belly." George said.

He turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. "It ain't

Much, but it's hot and tasty, "Stew ... Made it myself. When you're done, there's coffee and it's fresh."

Just at that moment he heard the "ding" of the driveway bell. "Excuse me, be right back,

" George said. There in the driveway was an old '53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the front.

The driver was panicked. "Mister can you help me!" said the driver, with a deep

 Spanish accent. "My wife is with child and my car is broken."

George opened the hood. It was bad. The block looked cracked from the cold, the car was dead.

"You ain't going in this thing," George said as he turned away.

"But Mister, please help ..." The door of the office closed behind George as he went inside.

 He went to the office wall and got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside. He walked

Around the building, opened the garage, started the truck and drove it around to where the couple was

Waiting. "Here, take my truck," he said. "She ain't the best thing you ever looked at, but she runs real good."

George helped put the woman in the truck and watched as it sped off into the night. He turned

And walked back inside the office. "Glad I gave 'em the truck, their tires were shot too. That 'ol truck

Has brand new ........" George thought he was talking to the stranger, but the man had gone.

The Thermos was on the desk, empty, with a used coffee cup beside it. "Well, at least he got

Something in his belly," George thought.

George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start. It cranked slowly, but it started.

He pulled it into the garage where the truck had been. He thought he would tinker with it for

Something to do. Christmas Eve meant no customers. He discovered the the block hadn't

Cracked, it was just the bottom hose on the radiator. "Well, shoot, I can fix this,"

He said to himself. So he put a new one on.

"Those tires ain't gonna get 'em through the winter either." He took the snow treads off of

His wife's old Lincoln . They were like new and he wasn't going to drive the car anyway.

As he was working, he heard shots being fired. He ran outside and beside a police car an officer

Lay on the cold ground. Bleeding from the left shoulder, the officer moaned, "Please help me."

George helped the officer inside as he remembered the training he had received in the

Army as a medic. He knew the wound needed attention. "Pressure to stop the bleeding,"

 He thought. The uniform company had been there that morning and had left clean shop

 Towels. He used those and duct tape to bind the wound. "Hey, they say duct tape can fix

Anythin," he said, trying to make the policeman feel at ease.

"Something for pain," George thought. All he had was the pills he used for his back.

"These ought to work." He put some water in a cup and gave the policeman the pills.

"You hang in there, I'm going to get you an ambulance."

The phone was dead. "Maybe I can get one of your buddies on that there talk box out in your car."

He went out only to find that a bullet had gone into the dashboard destroying the two way radio.

He went back in to find the policeman sitting up. "Thanks," said the officer. "You could have

Left me there. The guy that shot me is still in the area."

George sat down beside him, "I would never leave an injured man in the Army and I

Ain't gonna leave you." George pulled back the bandage to check for bleeding. "Looks worse

Than what it is. Bullet passed right through 'ya. Good thing it missed the important stuff though.

 I think with time your gonna be right as rain."

George got up and poured a cup of coffee. "How do you take it?" he asked. "None for me,

" said the officer. "Oh, yer gonna drink this. Best in the city. Too bad I ain't got no donuts."

 The officer laughed and winced at the same time.

The front door of the office flew open. In burst a young man with a gun. "Give me all

your cash! Do it now!" the young man yelled. His hand was shaking and George could

 tell that he had never done anything like this before.

"That's the guy that shot me!" exclaimed the officer.

"Son, why are you doing this?" asked George, "You need to put the cannon away.

Somebody else might get hurt."

The young man was confused. "Shut up old man, or I'll shoot you, too.

Now give me the cash!"

The cop was reaching for his gun. "Put that thing away," George said to the cop,

"we got one too many in here now."

He turned his attention to the young man. "Son, it's Christmas Eve. If you need money,

well then, here. It ain't much but it's all I got. Now put that pee shooter away."

George pulled $150 out of his pocket and handed it to the young man, reaching for the

 barrel of the gun at the same time. The young man released his grip on the gun, fell to

his knees and began to cry. "I'm not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to buy

something for my wife and son," he went on. "I've lost my job, my rent is due, my

car got repossessed last week ..."

George handed the gun to the cop. Son, we all get in a bit of squeeze now and then.

 The road gets hard sometimes, but we make it through the best we can."

He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair across from the cop.

"Sometimes we do stupid things." George handed the young man a cup of coffee.

"Bein' stupid is one of the things that makes us human. Comin' in here with a gun

ain't the answer. Now sit there and get warm and we'll sort this thing out."

The young man had stopped crying. He looked over to the cop. "Sorry I shot you.

 It just went off. I'm sorry officer."

"Shut up and drink your coffee." the cop said.

George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car and an ambulance

skidded to a halt. Two cops came through the door, guns drawn. "Chuck! You ok?"

one of the cops asked the wounded officer.

"Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How did you find me?"

"GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Who did this?"

the other cop asked as he approached the young man.

Chuck answered him, "I don't know. The guy ran off into the dark.

Just dropped his gun and ran."

George and the young man both looked puzzled at each other.

"That guy work here?," the wounded cop continued. "Yep," George said,

"just hired him this morning. Boy lost his job."

The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher. The young man

 leaned over the wounded cop and whispered, "Why?"

Chuck just said, "Merry Christmas boy ... and you too, George, and thanks for everything."

"Well, looks like you got one doozy of a break there.

That ought to solve some of your problems."

George went into the back room and came out with a box. He pulled out a ring box.

 "Here you go, something for the little woman. I don't think Martha would mind.

She said it would come in handy some day."

The young man looked inside to see the biggest diamond ring he ever saw.

"I can't take this," said the young man. "It means something to you."

"And now it means something to you," replied George. "I got my memories.

That's all I need."

George reached into the box again. An airplane, a car and a truck appeared next. They were

toys that the oil company had left for him to sell. "Here's something for that little man of yours."

The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150

that the old man had handed him earlier.

"And what are you supposed to buy Christmas dinner with? You keep that too,"

George said, "Now git home to your family."

The young man turned with tears streaming down his face. "I'll be here in the morning

 for work, if that job offer is still good."

"Nope. I'm closed Christmas day," George said. "See ya the day after."

George turned around to find that the stranger had returned.

"Where'd you come from? I thought you left?"

"I have been here. I have always been here," said the stranger.

"You say you don't celebrate Christmas. Why?"

"Well, after my wife passed away, I just couldn't see what all the bother was.

Puttin' up a tree and all seemed a waste of a good pine tree. Bakin' cookies like I used to

with Martha just wasn't the same by myself and besides I was gettin' a little chubby."

The stranger put his hand on George's shoulder. "But you do celebrate the holiday, George.
You gave me food and drink and warmed me when I was cold and hungry.
The woman with child will bear a son and he will become a great doctor.
The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being killed by terrorists.
The young man who tried to rob you will make you a rich man and not take any for himself.

"That is the spirit of the season and you keep it as good as any man."

George was taken aback by all this stranger had said.

 "And how do you know all this?" asked the old man.

"Trust me, George. I have the inside track on this sort of thing. And when your

days are done you will be with Martha again."

The stranger moved toward the door. "If you will excuse me, George,

I have to go now. I have to go home where there is a big celebration planned."

George watched as the old leather jacket and the torn pants that the stranger

was wearing turned into a white robe. A golden light began to fill the room.

"You see, George ... it's My birthday. Merry Christmas."

George fell to his knees and replied, "Happy Birthday, Lord."

Merry Christmas