One year ago I was getting ready to graduate from college. I was glad to be done with it and looking forward to actually having a job and money... something that a scholarship student who had to resort to loans in order to pay rent and get food for the last year and a half of her graduate degree had done without for quite a while.
You see I started out in 2005, that goofy and adorably annoying freshman setting out to set the world on fire. I wanted to be a child psychologist, was engaged, and had no reason for anything to be wrong in my little world. Then classes started. For those of you who don't know what the typical public state college experience is like in this the United States of America, be glad. Those of you who do, you know exactly what I mean. One broken relationship, two semesters of therapy, and three semesters of bad academic advising later I changed my major to Special Education because I thought it would get me a job after I graduated.* I also joined the Catholic Student Union and came to my senses about God's impact on my life.
I won't bore you about my program of study because I know that it's not as interesting as I think it is. That being said it was a 5 year program, but I would graduate with a Master's instead of a Bachelor's, or I should say in addition to one... My last semester was an internship at a local elementary school and I failed, so I ended up having to physically force myself to go back two Augusts ago to finish my degree, because if I didn't re-intern I wouldn't get any degree. Needless to say it was difficult getting back in the saddle, but I managed to make it through though I decided then and there that I didn't want to teach. I loved working with the kids and I loved working with the staff but I hated to actual job of teaching, because you don't work with the kids, you sit there and attend meetings and do paperwork and consult over students you may or may not even know as to their IEPs, 904 plans and Lord know what else.
So I moved back in with my parents. I was also discerning a call to religious life at this time, or for those of you who aren't Catholic, I was praying about becoming a nun. I had $60 grand in loans, no job, and I started looking and applying everywhere I could. You can't become a nun with debt over your head. I applied everywhere I could in this one Wal-Mart town, Cracker Barrel, Burger King, Winn-Dixie, trying to do anything but teach. Needless to say I was told numerous times that I am "over-qualified" or that I'll most likely go back to teaching. Do people not know that the burn-out rate of ESE teachers is 3 years? One retreat with the Little Sisters of the Poor later I decided to apply for their summer employment program to see if that's where God was calling me. I was accepted in Enfield, CT and spent my Christmas/Graduation money on gas and lodging to get me from Florida to there.
So I had a job, and a place to live and food to eat and I loved the work. I loved my residents. I loved the Sisters. I loved the area. I fit in wonderfully, everyone said they couldn't imagine how they got on without me before. Working and living in the same place is difficult, however, especially when you're basically working 24/7 just being paid for a 40 hour work week. Truthfully I still don't know if I am being called to religious life, but I know it's not with the Little Sisters of the Poor, unless God does something outrageous to make me understand that's where he wants me. So I came back to Florida in September. I've been looking for work ever since, but it's the same story over and over. "Over-qualified".
Recently I stumbled upon the National Catholic Education Association's website and found out that they need a teacher for 6-12 ESE in Rapid City, SD. It looks like I might be teaching after all, hopefully, though I don't know how I'm going to get up there, may have to sleep in my car and just put my money to use getting gas, not that I have any money to speak of or y'know, use.
Anyway, I just wanted to say you're never over-qualified to love, you can start by loving yourself and then move up to your family and then even perfect strangers. Looking back I didn't realize just how difficult life on the other side of college would be for me. I think I might have been more scared if I had, but now that I know, I'm okay with it. Keep your heads up future grads, things will get better if we trust in the Lord.
*Anyone looking into Special Education just because 98% of school districts need a teacher should really examine why they want to be a teacher.
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